Kingly Patriarchy

We do not like authority! Have you ever noticed? The very idea that another human being has any kind of authority over us rankles. To willingly submit to the authority of another seems absurd. We all think that we could do a better job of leading, that our way is better, and that we deserve to be the one in authority.
This kind of rebellion against authority is not new. It started at the beginning, in the Garden, with a snake, a woman, a man, and the reversal of God's created order. Suddenly, I am the only authority to which I need to submit.
The rebellion has not changed or diminished since then. The nature of man demands his own independence from all authority except his own. With this in mind, to describe fatherhood with a picture of a king is in direct contrast to the willfulness of the human nature. It seems that we are putting fathers onto a powerful pedestal. It pictures for us a warrior king with his foot on the neck of his subjects (read wife and children). He wields absolute control. None dare challenge him. He rises to a place just below God.
Women and children see it and tremble. Their lives are suddenly lower than slaves. They have no power, freedom, or rights. The Man is all powerful, all controlling, all possessing.
At least that is what our culture would want us to believe about patriarchy.
The truth is that the ancient kings understood their authority very clearly. In ancient epics such as The Iliad and Beowulf, kings were described as shepherds and fathers. Their authority was absolute in that their subjects owed them complete and unwavering allegiance. But their authority was not given in order to better their own lives. Their entire existence was to guide, govern, and protect their people. Unfortunately, power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
If we keep in mind the original purpose of the king, a servant leader of his subjects, we have a better understanding of this picture of fatherhood. The king leads by example. He was not above the law, rather he embodied the law. He never expected his subjects to behave in ways that he could not, but he certainly punished wrong-doers for the protection of his kingdom. He was on guard against trouble within and without his kingdom. All that he did was done for the good of his kingdom.
There is much more I could say about the original intent of kingship, but for the purpose of this study in fatherhood I will limit the analogy to two key areas: example and discipline.
Good leaders lead by example and like it or not, fathers are leaders. A child will leave home with what the father has lived out in the home. Our children may not always remember our words but they will never forget our actions.
Even more important, fathers are spiritual leaders. We not only have the power to lead our children spiritually, but we also have the God-given responsibility to do so, as we have already seen. The New Testament has a lot to say about the issue of being an example to those who follow.
Jesus never commanded us to do anything that he was not willing to do. In John 13, he washed the disciples feet and then said, "If I then, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet. For I gave you an example that you also should do as I did to you." (vs. 14-15) The apostle Paul lead by example and reminded the Thessalonian church about the example he gave to them. "For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example, because we did not act in an undisciplined manner among you..." (2 Thess. 3:7) Paul commanded Timothy, the young elder in Ephesus, to lead by example. "Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe." (1 Tim. 3:12) Paul also commanded Titus, a pastor in Crete, to be an example. "Likewise urge the young men to be sensible; in all things show yourself to be an example of good deeds, with purity in doctrine, dignified, sound in speech which is beyond reproach, so that the opponent will be put to shame, having nothing bad to say about us." (Titus 2:6-8) Peter encouraged the church leaders to be examples when he said, "Therefore, I exhort the elders among you, as your fellow elder and witness of the sufferings of Christ, and a partaker also of the glory that is to be revealed, shepherd the flock of God among you, exercising oversight not under compulsion, but voluntarily, according to the will of God; and not for sordid gain, but with eagerness; nor yet as lording it over those allotted to you charge, but proving to be examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:1-3)
I think that this idea of being an example is intended in Deuteronomy 6:6, "These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart." The Law of God was first to be believed and followed by the fathers. It was to be a part of their lives first and foremost. Only then can verse 7 be practically applied, "You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up."
I sincerely believe that one of the major reasons that children raised in Christian homes abandon the faith upon leaving the home is because we have not lived out in the home what we have been teaching in the church. If I teach my children to honor their parents, they must see me honor my parents. If I teach my children not to lie, I must always speak the truth in love (even on the tax returns). If I teach my children to be faithful to God, I must be faithful to God. My children will leave home with what I have lived out in the home.
Secondly, the father is responsible for the discipline of his children.
This is a hot issue. What does discipline mean? What methods should we employ? If you read certain popular child-raising and parenting magazines, we should never use painful punishment against our children because it might permanently damage their delicate psyches. It is better to publicly humiliate them, ignore them, and effectively abandon them to their own devises. After three generations of this, one would think that someone would wise up to the fact that it simply is not working!
Here is an irony for you. Psychology is by name "the study of the soul" ('psuchos' is the Greek word for 'soul'). Psychologists by practice reject the existence of the soul! I will get my parenting advice from the Creator of the soul, thank you very much!
He says, "Do not hold back discipline from the child, although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. You shall strike him with the rod and rescue his soul from Sheol." (Proverbs 23:13-14) The method of discipline is quite clearly portrayed for us. It is painful for the child, but the result is rescue, spiritual rescue.
Another, perhaps clearer example of this is found in Hebrews 12, where the discipline of the father is compared to that of God. "My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor faint when you are reproved by him; for those whom the Lord loves He disciplines, and He scourges every son whom He receives... For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness. All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness." (Hebrews 12:5-6, 10-11)
The motivation for discipline is love. Because we love our children we discipline them. Loving discipline is not the raving lunatic that the media likes to portray for us as the parent who uses corporal punishment against a child. Loving discipline is calm, measured, and purposeful in metering our discipline.
The method of discipline is described as the scourge. This was a leather thong that was used to strike an offender. It was used in Hebrew households by the parents to punish their children. It was also used by the judges to punish criminals. Paul himself was scourged by the Jews for preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 11:24). This is strikingly similar to the idea of the rod spoken of in the Proverbs. Somehow, God has so ordained that children will be trained best by the use of painful discipline.
Finally, the purpose of discipline is holiness and righteousness. This is a key point because holiness and righteousness do not describe simply behaviors, they indicate the very nature of the child. We are all by nature sinful (Jeremiah 17:9), objects of wrath (Ephesians 2:3). We can adjust our behavior to appear acceptable based upon the external influences of cultural expectations or corporal punishment. However, external behaviors are not always good indicators of what is taking place internally. A child may act rightly but this does not mean that the child is righteous. Discipline is for the purpose of producing righteousness within the child, so that their deeds are motivated by their new nature in Christ.
When viewed together, the three pictures of fatherhood, prophet, priest and king, form a complete example to us of how to be the kind of fathers that God-ordained us to be. We teach our children correct doctrine, inculcating them with this truth. We train our children by showing them, by example, how to live out the doctrine that we teach and giving them opportunities to live it out and corrections along the way. We represent God to them and act as their advocates before God. When they sin, we discipline them in love to return their feet to the paths of righteousness. As we do this consistently, with much prayer, the Bible indicates that our children will grow to become the kind of God-honoring, holy, and righteous adults that we desire them to be.