True Attraction

Here is an interesting verse: Colossians 2:8, "See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ."
Our Bible study is currently going through a program called The Truth Project, which seeks to expose the lies of the world, the flesh, and the devil that many Christians are unknowingly buying into and to develop a truly Christian worldview based solely on the doctrines of Scripture. This week in our study we examined something that should be considered the most dangerous form of knowledge, that is assumptive language. It is dangerous because when a teacher or a salesperson makes an assumptive statement, they are not saying what they mean. The statement may sound good and acceptable, but when you buy into the statement you also buy into the underlying assumption.
Let me give you an example. A commercial for a hair care product declares you should buy this product "because you're worth it." The immediate statement suggests that you are worth the $9.95 that could make your hair more beautiful. The assumption that is not stated is "It's all about you, you are the most important person, look out for number one."
The verse in Colossians clearly states that Christians can be captured by these deceitful philosophies of men, and most of us are captured by some. Let me apply this to a matter in which I feel most Christians of our generation have been captured, the matter of physical appearance. We are constantly bombarded from every medium with the lie that we must be "sexy" in order to have self-worth. People who are not "sexy" are ridiculed and looked down upon as not having value. Of course, this is not verbally stated because this would not be accepted by our society. However, the assumptive language that we buy into fills our minds with this lie. How many times have we seen a morbidly obese individual and commented about their appearance?
How can we correct this false philosophy into which we have bought? We need to understand what "sexy" is and what true attraction is. Sexy does not mean the same thing as attractive, nor does attractive necessarily include sexy. I have seen many Christian couples in which one of the partners will be sexy and the other will un-sexy, yet the sexy individual is greatly attracted to the un-sexy individual. How can this be unless sexy and attractive are totally separate?
Let me give you a descriptive definition of these two concepts. Sexy is the state of being physically beautiful to the point that you create in those of the opposite gender the desire to have sex with you. On the other hand, attractive is the state of having a personality and character that makes those around you like and appreciate you in a deep and abiding way. Marriages based on sexy always fail unless attraction comes before the divorce.
When an individual looks at others as being "sexy" they are seeing only the external. You might as well stuff the "sexy" person and put them on your mantle, because that is all that sexy is... pleasing to the eye in the same way that a painting from Da Vinci, or Michalangelo is pleasing to the eye. "Sexy" objectifies the individual rather than views them as a person with an inner character. "Attractive" views the individual as a person and focusses on their inner character and personality.
What does the Bible have to say about this issue? 1 Peter 3:3-4, "Your adornment must not be merely external- braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God." The word "merely" at the beginning of the verse is not in the original but is supplied by the translators. The idea being that we should not be overly concerned with our "sexy" appearance but with our "attractiveness" before God and others.
Is it wrong to braid the hair? No. Is it wrong to wear jewelry? No. Is it wrong to put on dresses? Not for women, but that is a whole different issue. However, the overwhelming obsession of people in our culture is the physical appearance, which is wrong. We must stop looking at the "sexiness" of a person and try to find their "attractiveness" by getting to know their character. Also, we must stop trying to be "sexy" and start developing the inner character of the heart in order to be "attractive" not only to our friends and spouses, but also to God.