Religion Vs. Relationship

The subtitle on this page might seem confusing to some people. It was to my wife, who said, "Religion has a negative connotation." Unfortunately, this is true. One of the popular statements of modern Christianity is, "It's not a religion, it's a relationship!" Another truth that I used to believe wholeheartedly. I'm beginning to change my mind.
Modern Christianity defines religion as a system of rules usually developed by men that believers follow in hopes of achieving some kind of higher existence, whether heaven, enlightenment, Valhalla or whatever. Yet, if this definition is a true definition, why does the bible speak of religion as a desirable part of Christianity. "If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man's religion is worthless. Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world." James 1:26, 27
It is interesting to me that James, the brother of Jesus, old camel knees himself, would write about religion rather than relationship. I mean if anyone had a relationship with the Savior it was James. Yet his focus is on religion. Why is that?
I think that the problem lies in our understanding of what constitutes true religion. The Jews of the Old Testament were given a list of rules to follow. These were commands directly from the mouth of God, delivered to them by Moses; religion if ever there was one. The idea was to obey these rules in order to be acceptable to God. However, a brief overview of all the Bible reveals that it was not strict adherence to the Law that made a Jew righteous, it was his faith in the Law Maker. Those Jews who had faith in God demonstrated it by obedience to His Law; not always perfect obedience as in the case of King David who was an adulterer and murderer yet the apple of God's eye and a friend of God.
What is my point? True religion involves a relationship and a relationship involves true religion. It is very easy for Christians of my generation to claim a relationship with Abba, and many do. Yet the proof of the pudding is in the tasting, or in the case of a relationship with Abba, in the religion. Many Christians who have a "deep and close" relationship with God never allow that intimacy to impact their lives in a meaningful, religious kind of way. The Bible very clearly states that our deeds, our obedience to the will and commands of God, verify or deny our claim of salvation. The question I must wrestle with is the validity of my relationship. "Is my relationship with God verified or denied by my religion?" Is my claim of intimacy with God shown to be true by what I do? That is the focus of James, true religion is the working out of my salvation.